Memories
by EmelineCarter92
Summary: Y'all ever wondered why Rosco treats the Duke how he does? You wouldn't have known it but Coltrane's always used to be friends with the Dukes. Why did it all suddenly end with Rosco? It all started more 'n twenty years ago.
1. Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my own backstory of how Rosco really is how the way he is, and why he doesn't trust or listen to a Duke. Also one Duke boy really was "trouble with the law since the day he was born.

* * *

Rosco P. Coltrane was born Rosco Purvis Coltrane on January 2, 1932, son of the late Eliot Maxwell Coltrane and Ellie Davis, younger brother of Lulu and Hortense, It was tough growing up in those days. Not knowing if you were going to make ends meet. His father couldn't hold a steady job and was barley ever home. He hadn't really known what his father did for a living until the day his father died. Rosco had always thought he was a cattle ranching for folks, but that had just a second job, something to fall back on.

Believe it or not Eliot was a ridge runner, the only Coltrane that even ran moonshine. Everything Jesse Duke and J.D. Hogg knew about moonshining came from him. Ol' Eli wasn't the best but good enough. He could sure outrun them revenuers. Eli was known as a hard working, always serious and was as stubborn as they come, the only trait he shared with Rosco.

Eliot had died of a heart attack at the age of forty-two. Rosco was ten and Lulu was twelve. Hortense was already grown and moved out of the house. After Eli's death made Ellie overprotective of her son and even Lulu was. Kids at school made fun of him for it. Until Lulu (she was a big girl even then) and Joe Duke, (Jesse Duke's second youngest brother) put a stop to it.

Rosco was friends with Joe Duke. They had grown up together, sometimes playing cops and robbers, wouldn't you know it. Though they didn't actually become friends until Joe helped put stop to the bullying that day in the school yard. At first Rosco had been friends with Jesse's older brother Gene. Rosco had followed him around ever since he could walk until Gene went off to war. Five Duke brothers had fought in WWII, only four came back. Gene died in 1944. After that, Rosco had stuck to Joe like fly paper. Those two were inseparable, partners in crime. You could say that their friendship foreshadowed Rosco's friendship with Boss.

Joe wasn't like most Dukes. If trouble didn't find him, he'd go and find it. And Rosco was his tag along. Rosco had been a shy, timid child, the exact opposite of Joe. They hadn't noticed the differences until they got older. Joe was a leader and Rosco was more of a follower. Joe sometimes used that to his advantage.

In their teenage years they were both deemed as troublemakers but they never did anything that had gotten them into serious trouble. They would often get into fake fights, and there was only one person to break it up, (if it looked like they were about to take it too far,) and that someone was none other than, Otis Strate, Enos's father and close friend to Rosco, Joe, and Leann Shields, Daisy's mother.

Leann Shields moved to Hazzard with her family from California when she was twelve. Joe used to make fun of her because of her Yankee accent. Rosco had been a year older and had developed a crush on her. Joe was six months younger than Rosco and Joe hadn't showed any interest in girls yet, which was mighty peculiar if you ask me. Otis, who was thirteen, didn't think much of Lea, he only had eyes for Valerie Young, who one day would be his future wife. The day twelve year old Rosco met Leann he decided that she was the girl he was going to mary someday.

Lea mostly hung out with Rosco and Otis. They were the only ones that seemed to accept her. She couldn't stand Joe one bit. That year, in the fall of 1945, Rosco convinced her to go to the Hazzard County Fair with them. They ended up having a good time. Joe didn't get on her nerves, surprisingly. Rosco had must've said something to him. What it was, she'd never know. Rosco had a way with words with people. When you needed help or advice, he was the best person to go to. That was sometimes hard for Lea. He was always spending time with that trouble maker, Duke, causing trouble. It was hard to get Rosco alone when she needed him. Most of the time she thought Joe was a pest and a bad influence on Rosco, even well into their High School days.

Joe had had a big influence on Rosco. He wasn't that shy, timid child anymore. He was more outspoken and daring, maybe even more than Joe was.

During their senior year, Joe noticed the changes in his friends again. Rosco started to take things more seriously than Joe did. And Otis was starting to drift away from the group, spending more time with the other Duke boys, Bo and Luke's fathers. John Sydney Duke and James Curtis Duke. Otis would get into the moonshine business with them after graduation.

Joe knew friends drifted apart but he wasn't ready for that to happen just yet. That they changed.

Despite their differences he and Rosco still managed to stick together. And like always they would still have one thing in common. This time that one thing in common was that they had the same taste in women, one particular woman to be exact. Leann Shields, Lea to her friends. Joe and Rosco both liked her and Joe decided it was unfair if anyone of them got her. So he promised his friend that neither one of them would marry her.

Lea had always seen Joe as a pest but she liked his friend Rosco. He was the most selfless person you could ever meet, if you could get him away from Joe that is. Lea had wondered why he was friends with Joe to begin with. Joe Duke was a trouble maker.

Two years out of High School, in 1952, that all seemed to change. She had grown fond of Joe. He had grown more mature. After three years of dating, Joe asked her to marry him. He knew what he was risking but he couldn't stand one day without Lea. And she said yes. People just changed he guessed. The closer they got to their wedding day he could see she had doubts.

A few weeks before they were due to get married, he and Lea got into a fight.

"I don't like the way you still treat Rosco." Lea said.

"Why would that bother you? It's never bothered you before."

"He's my friend."

"I'm starting to wonder if he's more than just a friend, Lea. What do you see in him anyway."

"He listens to me. He cares about me."

"I care about ye...Lea, he's got half a brain."

"He might have half a brain, but he's twice the man you'll ever be, Joe Duke." She had taken off her engagement ring and threw it at his feet, storming out of the Duke farm.

He had went over to the Coltrane house the next day, when Lea had came back to the farm, apologizing. Joe had no idea what she and Rosco had done, or what Lea was exactly apologizing for. Joe told Lea he was going over to Rosco's to have a talk with him. Lea had begged and sobbed for him not to go but Joe had no time.

"I loved her longer than you have." Rosco said. He had always loved Lea since the first day he saw her. Joe didn't take interest in her till Senior year. _Who am I kidding?_ _He always gets his way, gets everything that he wants. Why had I thought this would be any different?_ Rosco asked himself.

"Lea and I are getting married Rosco, and you can't change that."

"Married. You know what marriage is even about? It's about promises. You can't even keep a promise." He should have known Joe would go back on his word. He had lied to him many ties before.

"People change Rosco." He had. He had planned to keep that promise. But he loved Lea too much. It hurt him that he was choosing Lea over his best friend. He had to, didn't he?

"I don't. I'm the most honest man in Hazzard. I woulda kept my promise." He probably wouldn't have either. He loved Lea too. He would have dropped everything, even if it meant losing his best friend. It turned out he was losing his best friend anyway.

"I'm not you Rosco."

"If you don't apologize, you can kiss our friendship goodbye. And not only our friendship but with your family…."

Joe just shook his head and started toward the door. So this is how it ends, Rosco giving him an ultimatum.

"I'll never trust another Duke again." Rosco called after him.

Joe stopped in the door frame, looking over his shoulder. "Goodbye, Rosco." And he was out the door, taking with him the fate of his family.

Rosco didn't go to Lea and Joe's wedding in 1955. He decided to go to the Police Academy in Atlanta, where he lived for a few years.

Knowing Joe Duke was still a trouble maker he was waiting to catch him in the act. He's chase after them in his patrol car whenever they went over the speed limit.

Then that tragic day came, on July 17th, 1967.

Rosco was chasing Joe and Lea as usual. Lea switched Joe places, taking over the wheel.

"You have to do better than that Rosco if you want to catch us Dukes." She teased. She looked back at him out her window. A timber truck turned onto the road. By the time Lea turned her eyes back on the road, it was too late. She swerved the jeep to avoid it but the truck caught the end dumper, sending it into the ditch. It rocked sideways but then settled on all fours. The truck driver got out of the truck, all he could do was stand there.

Rosco ran to Lea's unconscious form, her head on the steering wheel. He checked her pulse. There wasn't one. The only woman he ever loved was gone. And it happened in a blink of a second.

He had to get a hold of himself and do his job. He went to his CB instead of using their's. He didn't want to have to reach around Leann's body. He called Jesse on the CB and then an ambulance. Before the ambulance got there he went over to the wrecked jeep, pulling Leann out.

By the time Jesse got there, he saw Rosco sitting on the side of the road. His sister in-laws body cradled in the law man's arms. "Rosco." He put his hand on his shoulder. Rosco looked up at Jesse. Tears streaked his face. Jesse looked at Rosco, down at Lea and then the jeep. The sight caused Jesse's own eyes to water, not because of the accident alone. It shook 'hm that the man before him, who was the strongest lawman, was reduced to this state. It was like a little piece of him had died.

"You got to let her go."

"I can't…I can't leave 'er." His body shook a little. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest and put through a blender. He couldn't even think straight. He could only think about Lea. The last time he'd get to hold her. She would have looked like she was sleeping, if it wasn't for the deep gash in her head, her hair matted with blood, her skin a deathly pale. He'd never see those soft green eyes again.

"She's gone." He patted Rosco on the shoulder and went over to his brother's body.

"No, she ain't..."

Jesse made his way back to Rosco. "She's gone. There's nothing we can do for her now."

"Joe?" He looked up at the older Duke with hope in his eyes.

Jesse shook his head. "They're both gone."

"I did it. I killed them."

"Rosco, you can't be saying things like that. They'll have throw ye in the howscow or the looney bin." The younger man looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Jesse had to snap Rosco out of it. "For goodness sake, you're a law man. Get a hold of yerself." Jesse shouted.

That seemed to do it.

Rosco finally looked up at him again. "I love 'er Jesse."

Jesse looked at the law man sadly. "I know." He'd known that Rosco had loved Lea as much as his brother did. They were both gone now. There was only one thing left to do. "Now get outta here before anyone else see's ye. You're not supposed to be here." _I might have lost my brother and sister; I'm not going to lose you too. They'll lock ye up for sure if they see you this way. Just listen to me and get out of here._

He figured Jesse was right. If anyone saw the sight of him they'd think he was going squirrely, he'd end up in a Looney bin for sure.

Jesse knelt down and he moved Lea from Rosco's lap to his. Rosco stood up.

"Are you sure you can drive on yer own?" Jesse asked him.

Rosco nodded and headed toward his patrol car, just as the ambulance made its way to the scene.

He drove home fine. He took all the back roads to avoid going into town. When he got to his house and up to his bedroom he felt like he was going to lose it. He sat down on his bed, staring at the wall.

He put a hand in his coat pocket. He dug around in it, and pulled out a folded over photograph. He unfolded it. It was of him, Joe, Lea, and Otis when they had been kids. It had been taken at the Hazzard County Fairgrounds, the fall of 1945. They were sitting on the back of a hay ride, their arms around each other, smiling their innocent children's smiles. _Time to move on, ol' boy_. He could imagine Joe saying that to him. He put his finger on the top middle of the photo were the crease started. He was about to rip it up, but stopped himself. The crease ran down half of Lea's body. He couldn't rip her up. It'd be like losing her again. He looked at his friends smiling faces. All gone now. Shifting the photo to one hand he slowly put it down by his side and turned his gaze to the wall again. He closed his eyes, letting fresh tears fall freely.

He'd never let her go. His heart still held her close and it would forever. He still loved her after all this time. He never met another woman like her. He tried to get over her by agreeing to marry Sue Anne.

He remembered the day he "married" Sue Anne. Bo and Luke had told him Sue Anne had married him so her husband and his cohorts could rob the Hazzard Bank. He hadn't believed him. "You're lyin' You lie to me all the time."

"Rosco." Luke said from the passenger seat of his patrol car. Bo was in the driver's seat. "There ain't no Duke alive that's ever lied to ye and you know it." What Luke said was true. There was no Duke livin' now that ever lied to him. The only Duke that had ever lied to him was Joe Duke. That was the reason he didn't like the Dukes at all or listened to them. He had convinced himself that all the Dukes did was lie to him. That way he didn't have to ask for forgiveness. He felt he didn't deserve it anyway.

He didn't like the Dukes at all and J.D. Hogg didn't like Dukes as much as he did. Over that he formed a friendship with Boss, after he married his sister LuLu. The reason why Boss didn't like the Dukes, that was a different story. It went all the way back to his and Jesse's moonshine days. Catching the Dukes was his way of getting back at Jesse. It wasn't really about the Dukes in general.

"How about that one time…." Rosco was going to say "How about the time your Uncle Joey lied to me?" But they never heard about that and he didn't want to have to explain. He was glad Luke cut him off.

"If you think any different then you're just lyin' to yourself." Luke was right. He was lying to himself. He always did, in order to keep his promise he'd sworn to Joe. That he'd never trust a Duke again.

"If you're not lyin' to me then Sue Anne's lyin' to me, right?"

"That's right Rosco." Bo said sympathetically. "Listen uh…." He tried to search for the right words. He didn't dislike Rosco, only when he was giving them tickets for a trump charge, or planning schemes with Boss. He'd never gotten a reason behind that. Why did he target him and Luke pacifically? Maybe he'd lost so much that it made him crooked. But that wasn't really the answer. He felt sorry for the man sometimes. "Me and Luke is really sorry. You gotta believe that."

"I am too." Rosco said. "I….my…" He wasn't apologizing for telling them they were lying to him. He was thinking about Lea Anne. How she was gone because if his grudge he held against Joe.

Bo and Luke caught the sad tone in his voice. Rosco threw in a witty line so they wouldn't catch on.

"Momma told me I was too young to get married. Kew. Kew." He laughed.

Bo and Luke smiled, glad he was happy again, or so they thought.

He sat in his office that evening, finding himself starting to reflect on the past. One particular memory came to mind.

It was July 17th 1968, the one year anniversary of Joe and Lea's death.

Rosco visited the Duke farm late one night, after Bo, Luke, and Daisy were all tucked up in bed. They were all still children. Luke 13, Bo, 9, and Daisy was 7.

"If you loved Lea," Jesse began. "If you really loved her then what happens next should be clear."

"What do you mean?"

"You know Joe and Lea woulda wanted ye ter look after her. If you're ready..."

"She doesn't need me. She has you. You should be the one to look after her." He said all this without looking at Jesse. Joe and Lea had invited Rosco to the hospital when Daisy was born. They both decided, if anything should ever happen to them that he would take care of Daisy. Why him after all he had done? Rosco had asked himself. They shoulda made it Jesse.

"Ok, if that's how you feel Rosco.' He tried to get him to reconsider. But he was still in no shape. "But if she's ever in trouble Rosco you'll need to take up your responsibility. I won't always be there to watch over her when she gets older. Lea always went to you when she was in trouble." It would be the right thing for him to help Lea's daughter. It was the least he could do; take up part of his responsibility if not all. Being the Sheriff he could keep an eye out for her when Jesse wasn't able to.

There was a long pause. And slowly Rosco gained control of himself. "Very well, but never, never tell her Jesse. This must be kept between us. Swear it. "

Now he swore never to trust a Duke again. But the only Duke he ever really trusted was Jesse. Jesse had gotten him out of tight spots in the past. And this was the last favor he would ever ask of a Duke.

"Never tell anybody what really happened. I can't bear it, especially her daughter…I want your word." He didn't want Jesse to tell anyone he had been there when Joe and Lea died. Rosco wasn't even supposed to be out on patrol that day. So nobody knew. He aimed to keep it that way. And if Daisy ever found out, when she was old enough he knew it would make her hate him. And he wouldn't be able to take it if Lea and Joe's only daughter hated him. But he still couldn't help but think that he deserved it.

"You have my word Rosco." Jesse said.

Rosco didn't fully believe his word. A Duke still wronged him, and that one time, was one too many.

Now this story might be about Rosco, but Jesse has a big part in it too. Let's go back to the episode Dukescam, scam.

Jesse risked the farm to help Boss out of a fix. Why you ask? Back in '37, the revenuers caught Jesse for moon shining. J.D. could have let Jesse take the fall, but he bailed Jesse out of jail. But Hogg was still up to his scheming ways. Jesse put up the farm for Boss' bail. And Boss was planning to take the property right out from under him.

Boss skipped bail and left town. How could Rosco let him out of his jurisdiction? Jesse asked himself. Unless it had been all a scam as always. Jesse and the boys went to the police station to talk to Rosco. He had a lot of explaining to do. But that wasn't all he intended to do. Rosco wouldn't help the likes of the Dukes, unless it concerned him. But Rosco had a big heart as he was stubborn. If only Jesse could get around to him. Surely he wouldn't do anything to put them in any real danger or turn his back when they were in real danger. They still meant something to him. And if they lost the farm they'd have to leave Hazzard.

Jesse, Bo, and Luke entered the police station. Rosco was sitting in a chair, with Flash on his lap.

"Hello, Bo, Luke, Jesse." Rosco greeted them with a smile. But Jesse knew he wasn't really happy to see them. Maybe perhaps see he was, seeing them unhappy.

Can it Rosco. Jesse thought. He wasn't mad at Rosco. He was mad at Boss as always. I can get out of him what J.D. is up to if he won't help us.

"I can tell by your silence you're upset about somethin.' He knew what they were upset about. He could see their dislike, sense it in their body language. If anyone had to dislike him most of all, it had to be Jesse with all the trouble he caused the Dukes for two generations. "You shouldn't be." He got up from the chair, taking Flash with him. He set her down on the floor. "Just take it easy." He didn't want to start a fight with Jesse. "Just take it easy."

"Just take it easy?" Jesse's voice rose. He had the nerve to say they shouldn't be upset and that they should take it easy? "When my farm is at stake? Rosco, it was yer sworn duty to instruct J.D. and not let him leave town until after the trial."

"Well….I…." He tried coming up with an excuse but none came to him. Maybe I'm losing my touch.

"Don't well me. Cooter saw J.D. leavin' town with all his suitcases packed."

"Now he's gone and jumped bail." Bo said. "Thanks to you."

Great, all he needed was more blame. He was used to people blaming him, but it still hurt. He finally came up with an excuse. "Well, maybe he went on a nice picnic."

"Rosco, this isn't a time to be funny. My farm's at stake."

"Look, you all just go on, about your business." Go on, stop blaming me. Rosco thought. He just wanted them out of his business. "I haven't got time for such piddly things." He said, bending down to pick up Flash. "I've got more important things to take care of."

Jesse couldn't believe what he'd heard from Rosco. How could he act like he didn't care? Rosco had become corrupt, but Jesse never thought he'd go and do something like this. And to think he used to be close friends with Lea and Joe, and the Duke family. He turned his back on them. Just then, all the anger buried in his subconscious, burst out of him. "More important…." He stepped forward, bounding toward Rosco. Rosco backed up from him. Jesse felt the urge to hit him, strangle him even. Bo and Luke grabbed him by the arms, keeping him under control. "I'll give ye somethin' te…..I'd give ye somethin' to do at the hospital." But Bo and Luke got him out of the room. Rosco could still hear his voice from the hallway. "Let me at 'im. I'd like to give him somethin' important right upside the head." Then all was silent as the boys got him out of the police station.

Rosco held on to Flash tight, but not too tight. "Is he gone?" He asked Flash. "Good thing girl. You woulda torn him limb from limb wouldn't cha?" It wouldn't have been good for the trial. Maybe Bo and Luke should have let Jesse hit him. Knock some sense into me wouldn't it Flash? He walked back to his office. It woulda felt good too. Jesse had taken his brother's death all too well. He knew the truth. And it helped Rosco none that Jesse not once blamed him. Jesse didn't know it but a part of him did blame Rosco. And it had come out in his anger. Maybe he wasn't blaming him for Joe and Lea's death. But for his stubbornness and the fact that he wouldn't help a Duke because one turned his back on him. He turned his back on all the Dukes. He didn't have the right to be given kindness. He had the right to be treated miserably for the rest of his life. He decided that he wouldn't have minded if Jesse had taken a swing at him. At least he'd feel better.

Bo and Luke knew Rosco could get on Uncle Jesse's nerves but they haven't ever seen him like this. They gave each other a look as they let go of him, and he stormed down the stairs.

Jesse didn't know what it was all about either, he never been so angry at anyone or Rosco in his life. He got control of himself and walked down the police department steps. "Let me collect myself." He told the boys. "Can you believe him?" Rosco had been like a brother to him when Joe was alive even after until he became buddies with J.D. Jesse knew Rosco could be bullheaded but this…..this was just too far. He never been so angry and wondered where it all came from. Perhaps his subconcious had been hiding it. In his mind he had been shouting, You killed my brother, and now you're trying to tear my family apart. He had wanted to do more than just turn him over on his knee and give him a good slap. After everything...he betrayed them,and with out of all the people, J.D. Hogg. His old friend and now sworn enemy. Well Jesse couldn't call Boss his enemy. Jesse was too good of a person.

"Just calm down Uncle Jesse." Luke was starting to get worried, that Uncle Jesse might have a heart attack if he got any angrier. Rosco wasn't worth getting angry over anyways. "Don't let him rile ye."

"Don't let him rile me?" It wasn't exactly Rosco that was riling him. His stupidity came to be such an annoyance. Just for once he could think for himself, it wouldn't hurt. It didn't help any either if you knew he had a mind and didn't use it. "He's an idiot."

Luke tried not to smile. "I know that. But what we got to do now is find Boss ourselves and make sure he shows up at that trial tomorrow." They decided to go find Cooter so he could try and reach Emery Potter.

"I never seen you that mad Uncle Jesse." Bo said, putting his hand on his Uncle's shoulder. Luke stood on the other side of their Uncle incase he decided to go back and give Rosco "something important."

Uncle Jesse didn't answer Bo, because for the first time, he had no answer to give.

When Jesse and Boss were locked in the bank vault and had only fourty-six minutes left of air, Boss apologized for using Jesse's farm for bail. "I hope you can forgive me for that."

"I'd like to ring yer neck for that." Jesse said. And Rosco's. He almost added. "But I'm too weak. I guess I have to forgive ye." Both of ye.

"You're a good friend Jesse." Boss said.

Was he? He couldn't even forgive Rosco for what he did to the Dukes. The friendship between Coltrane's and Dukes went back generations and Rosco destroyed that. For one idiotic mistake his brother made. He'd never shoulda promised Rosco in the first place. If he was a good friend he would have forgiven Rosco like he told himself he was going to.

He didn't blame his brother and sister in-laws on Rosco, but he did blame him for losing their friendship with them. He contemplated how he would tell Rosco the rest of the time he was in the vault. Oh, he knows. Jesse told himself.


	2. Memories Part 2

It had been the 18th anniversary of her parent's deaths. When Rosco showed up at the farm, wanting to talk to Daisy about it, she had found it mighty peculiar.

Boss had been trying to blackmail Rosco, because he didn't have him as tightly around his finger as he wanted anymore, thanks to Maryanne. Boss had had many unsuccessful attempts to run her out of Hazzard. He then turned his attention to Rosco. He had found Daisy's mother's diary and discovered how close Rosco and Lea actually were, and that Daisy might be Rosco's daughter. It ended up getting out anyhow.

When Rosco told her that there might be some truth to what Boss was saying, she was angry.

He had taken off in a hurry, not even giving the boys a ticket for something.

The next day he had tried staying away from her. But they had run into each other at the Boar's Nest. But that wasn't all that they ran into. An ex drug lord and killer had been released from prison after had served a twenty year sentence. He had a vendetta against Rosco because Rosco had been the one that locked him up. Both her and Rosco were kidnapped. She had to put aside her anger so that could work through it.

When Ricky Tyler threatened to kill her instead, Rosco had pushed her out of the way, and stepped right between the man with the gun just as it discharged.

Rosco P Coltrane was not one to ask for forgiveness easily. It was because he was stubborn but mostly it was because of pride. And you know what they say, pride cometh before the fall. And the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Life was what it was and it was best to just deal with it. He'd done a lot in the past twenty years that he wasn't too proud of, acts that he'd thought he'd have time to atone for.

That was before he got shot.

 _No._ He had pushed Daisy to the side, stepping into the path of the bullet. He felt it's impact. He didn't feel anything else at first. Then he felt it, the searing pain, and the instant knowledge that he'd really done it this time. After all those lucky escapes, it seemed his luck had run out.

He was too late. He'd never get to say how sorry he was, for everything he put upon the Dukes. They'd never know.

 _I don't wanna die._

The throbbing pain in his shoulder didn't seem to be nearly as intense anymore. He'd saved Daisy.

He managed to open his eyes, once or twice. He tried comforting Daisy the best he could, saying "It's just a scratch." and how much she looked like her mother. He struggled to keep his eyes open. It seemed that they wanted to close on their own accord. He kept them open as long as he could until he couldn't no more. He let them flutter close.

His eyelids felt heavy and the weight on him was oppressive. He then felt the brush of Daisy's hair on his arm. He realized that she had her head on his chest. He wanted so badly to stroke her hair and tell her that everything was going to be alright, though it wasn't. But he couldn't even move or speak. He was being dragged further and further into darkness. It was getting harder to breath.

* * *

She was afraid he'd die.

For a long time they simply looked at each other. The urge to touch his face was almost overpowering. She longed to put her arms around him, hold him close. She wanted to tell him that she was afraid she was and if he died she'd borne the guilt of it. She wanted to tell him that beneath his disreputable exterior, he was a good man. What highter praise was there then that? A man who was honorable and good. A man she was beginning to love, like a daughter loved her father. But she told him none of these things.

"You look just like yer ma." He told her. His breath hitched as he said the words and his eyes started to water. She knew it had nothing to do with being sad. There was happiness in his eyes and also fear.

She had thought of her mother and tried to hate her, then discovered she couldn't. She went over her parent's marriage over and over until it made a crazy kind of sense. Her parent's had loved each other. But her mother hadn't remained faithful. She had tried to blame it all on Rosco for the cause of her mother's infidelity because he was the only one she could blame it on. Uncle Jesse had been right. It wasn't her place to pass judgment upon him. He had his flaws. He was human. She had been so angry, at both her mother and Rosco. But none of that mattered. It all seemed so small now.

He'd died for her. He'd give up his life to save her.

As she had sat in the waiting room, she had called up some her childhood memories. One stood out above all.

She was playing with Enos. She was hoping on her pogo stick and fell.

Enos had run away frightened. Rosco had been sitting his patrol car. He got out and saw Daisy. She sat crying on the sidewalk. He rushed over to her.

The child Daisy always thought he was a little strange but he was a nice man.

He had told her, "You'll be all right." He said looking at the scrap on her knee."It's just a scratch." And he scooped her up. He brought her to his and Lulu's place.

Lulu had bandaged her up while Rosco called her Uncle Jesse.

"There, all better. That wasn't so bad was it?" Lulu said in her nice soothing voice. She was as nice as her brother. Daisy thought, of course she ought to be, she was Rosco's sister.

Daisy sat on the bathroom counter. She shook her head and used her hand to whip her eyes. She could hear his voice caring from the living room.

"She took a tumble but she's awright." He was telling her Uncle Jesse on the phone.

She wished she had a daddy. And if she had a daddy she'd wanted him to be just like him. He saved people and made people safe.

Had he been remembering that memory when he had been shot? When he had been dying? He had said the exact same words. The words, "It's just a scratch." echoed in her mind. She had thought he meant the gunshot wound. Did he? Or was it just the past and present colliding. That time she had been the one by his side.


	3. Childhood Memories

1936

He remembered faintly, riding in the back of his father's moonshine car, (though he didn't know it back then. He was only four years old.) while he was doin' a run. Ma always warned Pa not to take him along, that is was dangerous.

"It's better for him to grow up learnin'. I don't want 'im becoming a cop. That runs in the family. Almost every Coltrane's worn a badge and he ain't one of 'em." That was his father's argument. Rosco always wondered what he meant by that. But never asked.

 _Two years later, 1938_

Rosco and Joe where playing outside on a nice summer day. They were playing their favorite game, cops and robbers. Joe always ended up getting away but not this time.

"Awright, put 'em up or I'll cuff ye and stuff ye." Six year old Rosco said as he jumped out from the side of the house pointing his toy gun at…nothing. He sighed putting the gun in the plastic holster around his waist. One day he'd have a real holster and gun, with real bullets, and a police car, and a real badge. He looked around the yard until his eyes fell on the old cedar tree.

Y'all wonder why Rosco's shooting is bad? We're about to find out.

Rosco climbed the tree, sitting on one of the branches. He waited until Joe came out from wherever he was hiding. Jesse's older brothers would always climb it when they were young children. They were all off at war now, even the youngest ones.

Joe came out from the back of the house. He walked over to the cedar tree. He placed a hand on top of his brown cowboy hat that flattened his blonde curls. He played with the string around his chin.

Above he heard branches snapping. He looked up and saw Rosco. Rosco wouldn't catch him. He never did and he wasn't going to catch him now. When he saw that Rosco was going to jump on him Joe dove out of the way.

Instead of landing on his feet, Rosco landed on his arm. There was a loud snap. It wasn't from one of the branches being broke.

Mrs. Duke, Joe and Jesse's mother came running out of the house. There was yelling involved, over Rosco's crying. Joe confessed he didn't do anything. Rosco climbed the tree and fell. Mrs. Duke scolded, saying, "I told those boys, one of these days, someone's going to get hurt climbing that thing." She picked up the little black haired boy and tried soothing him.

"It…it hurts…so….m…much." Rosco said between sobs.

"Hush. I know." Ida Duke patted him on the back..

"Get in the house." She ordered Joe.

Doc Peticord came to the house and dressed Rosco's arm. Rosco's broken arm healed within six months but it never healed right. He would feel the old injury on a rainy day. But he didn't let it keep him down. It affected his shooting but it didn't make his any less of a lawman. It was his decision that did that.


	4. LeAnn Shields

Lea Ann Shields hung out with three boys. She did what most of the boys did, ride bikes, play sports, wasn't afraid to get dirty. When she got into high school she didn't see any reason to change friends. Short and thin, with brown hair and lively green eyes in a face full of freckles, she still looked twelve when she was fifteen. She had a crush on one of those boys but she didn't know if he felt the same.

Rosco P. Coltrane was his name. He was nice and sweet, and selfless. He was nothing like Joe at all or other boys. Rosco's hair was black as night, his blue eyes were the bluest she had ever seen. She had lost track of how many times he had been there for her.

She didn't know how she ended up with Joe or what made her choose him. She had been confused. She had two men that she loved but didn't know in which way she loved them.

In the end she chose Joe. She had broken Rosco's heart. She felt it was the reason he left for five years. He had always intended to go to the Police Academy in Atlanta, through the time he chose to, was an excuse not to face her on her wedding day.

In the summer of 1960, when Rosco moved back to Hazzard, Lea had an argument with her husband after Joe told her what he had promised Rosco, when she was wondering why they weren't friends with Rosco no more. He had promised Rosco that neither of them would marry her. All this time she had thought it had been just her.

She went over to Rosco's. They ended up making love. They had once before, before she had gotten married to Joe. She'd been angry at Joe for treating Rosco, and if Rosco lost Joe, he'd have nobody else. He'd have Otis, his mama, and Lulu. But what Rosco needed was a woman.

The second time was different. She was married, older, wiser, but still her anger had blinded her again. They both were angry but that was no excuse. It was a sin. She was committing adultery. It made her realize she loved her husband so much. She told Rosco they could no longer feel for each other the way they do. She loved Joe.

Rosco never stopped loving her. She saw it in the way he looked at her, despite him trying to catch them for something. She pretended so hard not to see it. Especially now with Daisy. She was three years old now, she'd be four in

It was half past six. Everyone would be at the Hazzard Lodge, jukin' (Juking is an event that combines music, exercise, and social intercourse on a high plane.) Her friends would be expecting her. She put Daisy in her crib. The toddler instantly fell asleep. Lavinia would be watching over her. Glancing down at her precious little angel. "I don't know who your father is baby girl, but you have it good. They're both good men. But Joe Duke is your father. You got that? No one can ever find out. No matter what, we'll still have it good." I still have to tell Ross. I can't keep on avoiding him forever,

She still loved Rosco, that goof. A lump formed in her throat, finding it hard to swallow. God, how was she going to tell him. If things had been different...no. She had made up her mind. She didn't love Rosco that way that he still did, she never did. She just thought she had. And that made it hurt all the more. This was the last time she was going to hurt him. She didn't want to but it had to be done.

She looked at the clock again, If she didn't go soon, folks would be suspicious. So she put on her best and headed out the door.

The Juke Box was playing in the Hazzard Lodge. Folks were dancing, loudly and rowdy in time with the music. When she saw Rosco, her heart went straight to her stomach. She had to look away from him.

Rosco saw Lea enter, but as soon as she'd seen him, she made a bee-line for the door. Rosco followed her out and grabbed her by arm.

"What's the matter?" He asked her. She didn't answer. "What's goin on with you? At least tell me why you won't give me a simple straight answer of why you've been avoidin me."

Lea asked herself, He wanted to know why she was avoiding him? The way he treated them, chasing after them for just going one mile above the speed limit. She wouldn't tell him to stop. He had to, so others wouldn't catch on. See what she saw.

But that wasn't what she needed to talk to him about. It had been on her mind ever since Daisy had been born.

"I think…..Daisy, might be ours." She said. She gently placed her hand on his arm. "You know what that means Rosco."

"I know what it means." He was looking down at the ground, twirling his cowboy hat nervously. It got on her nerves.

"We can't alone together anymore. And I don't want ye anywhere near her either, not just for our sake."

"What'd'ya mean?" He felt like a dog kicked to the curb while it was already down.

"Daisy...She's starting to look more like me and nothin like Joe. Folks'll start to put things together. They already know the way you'd always looked at me, you still do. Even though you don't mean to." She sighed. " I know Joe wanted to patch things up between the three of us but we can't. It can't ever go back to the way things were before."

"Lea..." It can't be over. I can't lose them both for good.

"So you go on cashin' us like you do." It wasn't her fault that she hurt him. That was love, that was life. It had been mostly Joe's fault. She needn't to say anything more. She turned away.

"Lea….I….I never stopped loving ye."

"I know, Rosco." She said sadly. She turned to go back inside again. She didn't love him in the way she thought she had.

"I guess I'll love ye more for the both of us."

Lea nodded and went back inside. It was done. It was over. She'd hurt him for the last time. He wouldn't be hurt by her anymore. It should have been a relief but it didn't. She felt like she wanted to scream, pull her hair out, break anything insight, until the point of exhaustion and just cry. She had lost her one of her closest friends.

He sat down on an overturned beer barrel, looking up at the sky, thinking. He'll never find another woman. There never would be. He had always felt that she was 'the one' and she got away. He couldn't bring himself to look at another the same way he had Lea. He had courted a few women in Atlanta while he had been in the police academy but they were nothing serious. When he met Virginia Gray, that was a different story. He had been in his last year at the Academy and she had just started. The first woman to join in 1957. Rosco showed her the ropes, instantly hitting it off, they began seeing each other more and more. Eventually it was evident the Virginia wanted something serious. Rosco did try. After a year with her he had asked her to marry her, in 1959. She had accepted but his lack of interest pushed her away. When she asked why he always seemed so distant, he told her about Lea. And they both still tried. It didn't work out. She told him there was someone else and that was that. He didn't know the real reason Virginia left the relationship. She had told the half truth. There was someone else. Lea. He wasn't over her, even though Lea was married and had a life, Virginia thought he'd never will. She didn't want to play second best.

It didn't hurt when she left. It probably should have. Everyone always left him.

He felt like he was cursed. He cursed himself, cursed to be alone for the rest of his life. He deserved it. He had sinned. He had an affair with a married woman. A married woman who might be the father of his child, that'd he'd never get to see, being raised by a man, his former best friend, that could also be her father. What a mess he made. He was a screw up, just like his Pa had always said he was. One reason he wanted to become a cop was to prove him wrong, though he'd been dead eighteen years. He still managed to screw up. He refused to blame Lea. He didn't care how many times she had broken his heart. He still loved her.

He'd never love anyone else again.

Joe had got what he wanted. He always did. Rosco's eyes teared up, but he held them in.

 _What is there to cry over? She's a Duke._

He'd never listen to anything she had to say but he'd only listen to her this one last time. He'll go on chasin' 'em, pretendin he didn't care.

 _I don't care. I don't care anymore._

But he did care. He couldn't close his heart to what he felt, or how he treated people. It was in his nature to care. But he could pretend. He was good at hiding his feelings. If he couldn't close his heart, he'd close his mind, can't get hurt if ye don't use yer mind too much. He'd do just that. People thought he was a half-wit anyway.

He thought about what Lea had said. Daisy might be theirs.

He wasn't her father. He decided. She didn't need him. She had her parents. He wouldn't watch over her if something were to happen to his old friends, like they had wanted him to? Would Lea still want him to? If something were to happen to them the child would be better off with Jesse and Lavinia. Nothing would change his mind about that decision. He had his mind set on it, though it was unlikely for it to ever come to that. But he would honor this one last wish from Lea.

He'd stay as far away from them as possible, except for only when he was fixing to give 'em a ticket for speeding.

No Duke is gonna hurt me no more. I'll make sure of that.

He rubbed his eyes. Suddenly he heard laughter drifting out from inside and a scuffle of footsteps.

"Rosco." The footsteps came closer to him.

He took his hands away from his face and looked to see who had called his name. It was Otis Strate.

"What're ye doin' out here all by yer lonesome?" Otis stood beside him but didn't sit down.

"Like you care." Rosco snapped. Otis gave him a strange look. "Go away Otis, I'm not in the mood."

"Nonsense, you can't sit out here and not enjoy what's goin on in there."

"Why aren't you inside?"

"I gotta run." He meant a moonshine run. But Rosco didn't know that though. Rosco simply nodded.

Otis turned to leave, only taking a step when he was hit by a nagging feeling, having second thoughts about leaving. But he had people depending on him if he didn't show up on time and make the delivery, he didn't want to make a bad impression if these fellas were bad folks. Moonshinin was dangerous business. Yet, the good Christian way he was brought up was telling him he should help a friend in need. He struggled with his conscience.

He really should get going. He was already late. No, Rosco needed him.

He though of the many times he had been there for him and everyone else but Rosco never stopped to take the time for anybody to be there for him. He looked back at his friend, studying his face.

Rosco seemed withdrawn. He had sounded grumpy too, not like himself at all. Otis didn't like it. He was always the outgoing kind of guy. He didn't push people away unless something was bothering him. He knew it probably had to do with Lea. He meant to talk to him about her anyway. But what would he say to him? He hadn't given it much thought. He was never good on giving advice like Rosco was. He would have to think it over. He decided he'd have a talk with his good ole friend tomorrow.

"I gotta get goin." Otis walked toward his El Comino. "I'll talk with ye later, Rosco."

Otis Strate didn't get a chance to. He died that night. The road had still been slick from the night's rain before. His car hit the guard rail. Instead of doing its job and protecting him, the guard rail had failed and the car plummeted down into the ravine. He had broken his neck upon impact and had died instantly. He never felt a thing.

Two years later he'd loose Lea and Joe.

You'd think that much tragedy would have killed a man like Rosco. But he kept on keepin on, pretending he didn't care about nothing.

He wasn't the only one that was "cursed" by tragedy. The Dukes seemed to be cursed by it too.

Jesse's second oldest brother, Gene died in the war. His brother's John Sydney Duke (Bo's father) and James Duke (Luke's father) died in a hospital fire in 1965 along with their wives and Luke's new born baby brother. Two years after that, Joe and Lea. Jesse's wife Lavinia died of cancer in 1974. Jesse had his family to get through all that he had lost. His family was still there, his Nephews and niece. When his niece and Nephews came to live with him, he knew nothing about raising children. But he knew one thing for sure. He'd give them the life he never had.

Despite all that Rosco had lost, one thing was for sure, he would not become an old and bitter man. Life is too short. He would enjoy it. He tries to act like he doesn't care. But it's through his childish persona you get a feeling that he is truly a caring man. He can drive hope into people just by joking about a situation no matter how bad it is. When Rosco's around you don't see a careless heartless person. He gives people hope and brightens their day, even though he's miserable. He's the most selfless person. And I think those are the reasons why the Dukes care about him.

 _ **If there was anyone who couldn't love Rosco, well there was something wrong with 'em. What do you expect it is that the Dukes, or even Boss can't stay mad at him for long?**_


	5. Remembering Otis Strate

_April, 1965_

Rosco dreaded having to talk with Otis. He had barely gotten any sleep, wondering what his old friends wanted to talk to him about. Had he overheard Lea telling him that Daisy might be his? Otis had seemed so stern and worried.

What was he going to say to Otis?

Rosco got up and started to pace about the booking room nervously, biting on his thumbnail. He felt like an any under a microscope, or was that a magnifying glass?

He was going to be judged.

I'm done for. It could damage my life further, and Daisy's...What kind of life would she have?

No, Otis wouldn't risk that coming out into the open. He wouldn't jeopardize a friends reputation, especially when it was more than that at stake. He wouldn't do that to a friend. Still no matter how much he reassured himself, he couldn't shake the feeling of dread and fear.

There was only two people Rosco ever feared. His father and God. God more in a loving way, but when he was a child. Now he feared that God would never forgive him, and Rosco was too stubborn to ask for forgiveness, thanks to his father. Elliott Maxwell Coltrane had told him that asking for forgiveness was a weakness. He had feared his father because his father had told him to, "you should fear your father like you fear the Lord." Maybe he got the kinds of fear mixed up. But Rosco had been terrified of the man. He had been unpredictable, showed no emotion or love and affection to his children (that they learned from their mother) yet Rosco had always sought for his attention and approval but never got it.

How could a child of that sort of man become the most caring, affectionate person? It was a mystery.

Why was he feeling afraid now? He wasn't afraid of Otis. He was afraid of something. He tried shaking it off.

Then the phone rang.

Rosco let it ring, looking around. Sure that no one was coming he rushed over to the phone, anxiously and joyously. Maybe this could be his chance to prove himself how he could handle big time crime.

"Hello, this is Rosco P. Coltra..." His voice had gotten squeaky like it did whenever he got excited. He noticed it and right away cleared his throat, starting over. He spoke in a deep serious tone, sounding as professional as he could, "Hazzard County Sheriff's office."

"Sheriff." The voice on the other end began. Rosco was going to correct him but didn't get a chance to. What could it hurt anyway? It's not like he was admitting to being the Sheriff. Technically he couldn't get in trouble. "this if officer Branson over in Chickasaw. We have a crash near the Hazzard County Line. North bound at uh...Devil's Turnpike." They called it that because of all the curves. It was a well known moonshine route and dangerous to boot. It was often used to outrun revenuers. "A car bearing a Hazzard license plate was found at the bottom of the ravine. No survivors. It looks like a moonshiner's car."

"What's the make and model of the vehicle?"

"Chevrolet El Camino. Not sure of the year."

Rosco was already thinking it but he was denying it. A lot of moonshiner's use El Camino's. He didn't say what color it was, or the year. Otis drove a black 1960.

"Listen uh...if the license plate checks out, and the cars not stolen, the fatality could be one of your citizens."

"Uh huh. And what's the license plate number?" Rosco got out a pen and a pad pf paper. The car was possibly stolen. A moonshine runner from out of state or from a different county. No one was that dumb to use their own car. Unless they were good. He had the pen at the ready, but he didn't need to use it.

As the officer read the first four numbers Rosco knew who the car belonged to. Everything in him went numb.

"Do you reckon you know the owner of the vehicle? Sheriff?" The line went silent for a moment. The officer had thought he had a heart attack or a stroke or something. The Sheriff of Hazzard looked like he was going to croak anytime. Then he got a response.

"Yeah. I know who that is. Otis Strate. He was a known Ridge Runner here in the county, one of the best. We could never catch 'im with the stuff."

"I'm sorry for your lose Sheriff."

Yeah, right.

"You want me to contact his family?" The officer continued.

"No. No. I'll do that. Thanks. Bye." He hung up. The first time in his life he didn't know what he felt.

An officer of the law has to be detached, even if he had to fake it.

Lea came bustling into the Sheriff's office, all ray's of sunshine as usual. "Rosco, I'd knew I'd find you here."

"What do you want? I thought you didn't want to be seen alone with me."

"Oh, it'll only take a minute. Besides no one's going to see us. What's got up so up tight? Sittin in that Sheriff's chair got ye fellin all high and mighty?" She teased.

"I got a call from an officer over in Chickasaw County. Otis is dead."

Her smile fell. Lea blinked a few times, wondering if she had heard correctly. Rosco had said those words so passively. Even if it had been a stranger, he'd be choked up.

"What? No." Her mind went to instant denial. She knew life was short and anyone could go at any moment but she'd never imagined it'd be one of her friends. "We just saw him yesterday." She expected him to comfort her like he had when her mother had died but he remained stationary.

The door and Joe walked in. Upon seeing the state of his wife, he was instantly by

"What's going on here?"

"Otis..."

"His car drove off the road and into the ravine."

"Is he alright?" Silence. "Tell me, is he alright?"

Rosco shook his head.

"Otis is dead." Lea sobbed, almost uncontrollably.

"Sorry." Rosco left the building, his head down, not looking back.

* * *

It was after the funeral. Everyone had almost left the graveyard. Rosco had seemed too cheerful.

"How can act like...like...it doesn't even matter to him?" Lea asked her husband.

"People react to grief differently." Joe said. "Some people try to push others away to hide their feelings. Some people pretend to be strong so others don't see their pain."

"Which do you think Rosco is?"

"Maybe both? You know how keen Rosco is sharin his feelings. Even if I asked how he's doin I won't get an answer."

She nodded.

"That's how he was raised." Joe was silent for a moment, thinking. "He acted the same way when his pa died."


	6. 1974

Rosco went up to visit with Lavinia and Jesse, he really just wanted to see 'Vinnie' So he was grateful when she was the only one home. Daisy and Bo, who were still school age, thirteen and fifteen would be in school. Luke was nineteen. He was away in the Marine Cor.

He had entered through the back, like he always did. He didn't even have to knock. _Those were the days_. He had smelled her cooking as soon as he had pulled up the drive. Vinnie always seemed to be cooking or baking whenever he came over.

"Well, hi there, Sheriff. Why don't you have yourself a seat, I have a pound cake in the over with your name on it, which shouldn't take more'n a five-ten minutes."

He knew better than not to pass it up the offer. She would refuse to talk to him till he tried a taste of whatever she was making.

She reminded him of his mother, it would seem a bit odd if he told anyone that, with Vinnie only being two years older than him.

Rosco glanced at the clock before he sat down. 2:00. They'd still be in class, which didn't let out until another half hour. Vinnie sat down across from him.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, nothing. I just decided to stop by." That was a bold faced lie. He knew it wouldn't convince her. She was one of the very few that could see right through him.

"Rosco P. Coltrane, I know when you're lying. You've never came to vistit since the year after Joe and Lea...had that terrible accident. And you just show up out of the blue."

"Can't I see an old friend?"

"Which friend are ye referring too?"

The back door swung open and Daisy, wearing overalls, her hair still in pigtails, came rushing in.

"Uh-uh-uh." Lavina tisked. "We don't run in the house young lady."

"Sorry Aunt Vinnie. School got out early and me 'n some friends are goin down by the creek to cool off."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Vinnie began.

"I think she'll be fine." Rosco said. "at least she's goin with friends, it can be dangerous."

Daisy threw him a scowl.

Rosco's eyes went as big as two pie plates.

"um...I think we should go in the other room, young lady, to discuss your manners." Vinnie escorted her Niece to the living room and into the hall.

…..when we have guests over."

"I know how I should act when we have guests over but what's he doin here?"

"He came to visit with me."

"Really? Or did he come here to talk about me? You know, I try to be nice to him but all he does is correct me, like he thinks he knows what's best for me. He's always keepin a close eye out for me, like he's waiting for me to get into trouble or somethin' I'll tell him it's Bo he's gotta really watch out for. Not me. Just because he wears a shiny badge doesn't mean he can get away with it."

"Honey, I'm sure Rosco doesn't mean to hurt you when he does those things. He's only looking out for you."

"And why would he do that?"

"I don't know dear. I think it's because...you see, he cares about folks a lot, especially after what happened to your parents, and since then he's always been looking out for you. And it's always for the best."

"It's like he's trying to be my father, and it's weird." Not true. Her friends had seen it that way. She was finally fitting in, and here he comes embarrassing her. She didn't mind it when she was younger. It was like having a third dad, one she could go to when she was too afraid to tell Uncle Jesse (second dad) things she'd thought she'd get in trouble for. Uncle Jesse sometimes yelled but Aunt Vinnie had said it's because he don't know how to raise children, and yet Rosco seemed to know how. He'd only do little things for her, only when she went to him. As she got older, he started to become a bit strict. Everytime she tried to talk to him he'd give his opinion, tell her no, that's not right, like Uncle Jesse would. She didn't mind it that much then either, (though she wondered where her old Rosco had gone.)

But ever since the fourth grade it got annoying to Daisy real fast. It was like he was that overprotective dad. sit up straight, don't forget to eat all your peas, (He didn't say things like that but it was in between the lines) that kind of dad.

"He's only concerned, and you're getting to that stage where..." you can make all the wrong choices.

"I don't care, just tell him to stop." She stormed off to her room.

Lavinia walked back into the kitchen and sat back down in her seat, pretending that nothing happened. She smoothed her apron, but was really trying to soothe her stomach, which had began to slightly ache again. They would always come and go.

Rosco had heard every word through the thin walls. He didn't want to look at Vinnie but he knew he should. She'd see right through him. When he looked up he found she was staring down at the table cloth.

She was afraid to meet his eyes, now that she knew that the girls could well be so much like his. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No." His half smile faltered.

"You didn't come here just to see an old friend. The way you look out for that girl, it's like as if she were your own." Vinnie finally, daringly, met his gaze. "She's not..."

"No. I made a promise to Joe and Lea that I'd watch out for her if something ever happened..."

"Rosco, you know I can see right through you just as good enough as Jesse can." She said politely, through inside her mind she was yelling, just out with it will ye? This is more than just honoring your dead friends wishes, we both know it.

"They wanted me to look after her so I am!" He yelled slightly. He took a few beats before speaking again, this time softly, "After...after their funeral, I decided that you and Jesse could take better care for her. I couldn't. She needed a mother. And I wouldn't'ave been in the position to take care of her on my own. I was a broken man. I...didn't want her to grow up with a broken family like...like mine."

"And now?"

"It's too late." another beat. He inhaled sharply, shaking his head, pressing his palms to his eyes, "This should never been my choice."

"But it is. It still is. Whatever you decide now..."

"She's gonna hate me."

"No. She..."

"You saw the way she looked at me. She don't want nothin to do with me. I would' ve been a lousy father."

"I don't believe that."

"Well it's true."

"Rosco."

"Why'd I even bother to expect I'd do better than my pa?"

"Rosco, listen."

"I am a no good for nothin..."

"Rosco, listen to me. She's not gonna hate you. "

"Even if she ever found out that I might be her father?"

"She might be confused and might think she hates you but it won't last forever."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am. You did the right thing. You did what was best for her. And one day she will understand..."

"But she doesn't know. I made Jesse promise that he'd never tell her, that she could never know."

"But she will, one way or another. It will be better if she hears it from you."

"Vinnie, I can't. If I do, it's all over. I'll lose everything. And I can't afford to lose ..." _Not even Daisy. I wanted what was best for her and all that woulda been for nothing, proving to my father that I am the world's biggest screw-up. And it'd be more than just me that'll be losin, She'll lose a chance of a normal life. She'll never forgive me. People'll look down on her. and I, I'll be shunned for the rest of my life. I could lose my job or worse, I'd never get a chance to run for Sheriff again in five years, cause who would in their right mind would vote?_

"Rosco. It doesn't have to be now. It could be a few months, years from now. Only you can decide when it's the right time."

Rosco nodded, staring down at his glass, gripping it tightly. _Which would be never._ He brought his gaze back up.

When Vinnie looked into his eyes, they looked blank, withdrawn. It scared her. But then she saw the emotion creep slowly back into them, those lovely blue eyes, she had always been jealous of, shined brightly as if he were on the verge of tears. The withdrawnness had been a sign of him trying to hide his feelings. He never fully could.

He was trying to be brave, at least that's how Lavinia saw it, and she admired that. In truth he was trying to hide any sign of weakness. That's what he had been taught by his father, never let them know how much you care. But it wasn't in his nature to be cold or calculating. He was a genuine, caring, human being. It bugged the hell out of him that he couldn't just shut off his emotions as easily as Elliott Maxwell Coltrane had. So Rosco came up with another way to hide it, behind his childlike behavior, his quick humor and feigning dumb. Then it came easier for him.

He closed his eyes, comparing his childhood to Daisy's. She had it better. He had done the right thing. He felt Lavinia squeeze his hand as if she had read his mind.

The timer on the stove suddenly dinged, making them both jump slightly. They broke contact.

When he opened his eyes, Lavinia had already gotten up, putting on her oven mitts, she took the cake out of the oven and set it on the stove. "Soups on, love." She said in a fake British, but believable accent. It was when she saw the familiar crooked grin form on Rosco's face that she started laughing. Abruptly she stopped, doubling over in pain, holding her stomach. Rosco was out of his chair and by her side in an instant. She tried waving his away with an over mit, "It's nothing. Just stomach cramps. I've been getting them a lot lately."

"It's don't look like no stomach cramp."

Then it started getting worse, she could barely stand up straight. Her face was now breaking out in a sweat.

"That's it, I'm takin you to the hospital."

Rosco picked her up and carried her to his patrol car. By the time he got her in the backseat, she was close to losing consciousness. "Stay with me darlin, ye here?"

Daisy came out of her bedroom. She had heard a car take off down the drive. "Hello?" The farm house was quiet and empty. The oven was still on, and there was cake on the stove top. Shrugging, she turned off the oven, checked the cake with her finger, and broke off a piece, popping it into her mouth. She then walked back down the hall, not a care in the world, not knowing that her Aunt was sick and pretty soon would be taken from her.

Rosco didn't know either. The doctor had told her that she had cancer. When she checked herself out, she put on a brave face and approached the waiting room where Rosco was.

"Turns out it was just a really bad stomach cramp." She said, rubbing her shoulders. The room suddenly felt chilly. "The doctor gave me something for it. I'll be fine now."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure." She hated lying to Rosco right then and there but she couldn't tell him, not yet, not now, while he was smiling.


End file.
